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TOO  MUCH TOO SOON?

I sat there in the interview with a dear associate whose impression upon my life had been nothing but positive. She had no idea of my level of admiration for her professional demeanor, her kindness and honorable care for those whom she worked with, or her strong parenting which I had had the opportunity to admire from interactions that we had had as our youngest had both attended the same preschool institution. Yes, I was there to interview for a administrative position directly under her. It would have been the greatest position for me to be. Well, it still might be. Yeah... this is fresh. But I am agonizing because my level of comfort in a professional setting may have been too much, too soon. Let me share my shame in hopes that you won't make the same faux paux.
I had been brought in for a second interview and was feeling VERY good (not overly confident, but strong) about being able to speak with other staff members who echoed everything that I knew to be true about my perspective Director. While trying to fight off the afternoon blahs (I am very much a morning person and the interview was at 3pm... my choice), I found myself feeling the weight of some personal struggles and had allowed them to drive my curiosity about the salary range for the position for which I was seeking to obtain. Uh huh, while I didn't ask directly, I did say, "I know we will discuss salary range and that kind of thing at a later time." Ugh! What?! My head swirled in wonderment of my own level of idocracy in that moment!!! What the...?
It is never okay to discuss these matters prior to their appropriate time. I KNOW THIS!!! But my level of personal comfort had allowed me to slip into an emotional rocking chair and just echo the concern that was in my heart. Further explanation: I am a single mom who just took a leap of faith to move back into a large metropolitan area with great hopes of expanding opportunities for both myself and my little one! That's all good, right? Yes, but emotional concerns and professional opportunities are a lethal mix. Friends understand your emotional concerns. Prospective employees, no matter how familiar, understand your ability to perform and manage within that environment.
The long and short of my sharing this with you is to encourage you to never become too familiar with those whom you interact with professionally until you have established a relationship that will allow room for error. This eagerness to become too familiar too fast might cost you a very valuable opportunity, to acquire a new position, to advance within a current system, to obtain that multi-million dollar account. Stay focused and maximize your time with people as if you might not get that chance again!
I will let you know how it goes for me! :0) In the meantime, let us know where you stand on the salary question concerning interviewing. When is the appropriate time to discuss salaries?
Wishing your tremendous wisdom as you pursue and achieve success!

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